Red ticking tanks of death + Mom = A hell of a time!

We have been counting happily for days. We finally settled on whether we were going to do an ICI (at home basically) or an IUI (with a doctor). We decided on knocking me up at home, I really want Andrea to be part of the whole experience, and I told her I would walk her through it. Having spent some time in an OB office as a nurse, and having spent the majority of my 20s in a lab, I figure I can thaw the sperm with no problem. They are temperamental little fellows, they like a constant room temp rise over a period of 10-15 mins. Anything to hot will kill them.

So I calculated down to the second, so that I would know when to order our vials. A tank will usually last between 7-12 days, but I could get it refilled at a medical supply store for $25 or so- for those of you who are curious what it would cost to sit a big ole tank of sperm in your closet for two weeks. The refill option brings me comfort, in case my body wants to hold out on me for any reason- it eliminates the RED TICKING TANK OF DEATH.

According to our calculations we should be ready for our first try on the Oct 7th- 11th. Oh but you see my body, like myself prefers to overachieve. So under stress what does it do, it goes into motion three days early. Great! Wonderful! Thanks Body! That puts me ready to go between October 3- 7th. No problem right? Wrong. The 4th is my birthday, 31 years spinning on this big old ball of earth. I know your thinking well that seems like a great birthday present. Well yes, but you see. My parents are set to arrive on the 2nd and will be here until the 5th.

Tremendous! Yes, Carol that is a massive tank of sperm that just arrived, and if you could wait just a moment in the living room. I am going to go upstairs with my wife, and make a baby. Hold those birthday thoughts. Thanks. If any of you know my mother you know, that she has not been so supportive in the relationship department for me through the years. She literally tried to kill my first girlfriend, and while she loves Andrea- she wasn't pleased we are getting married. Ask me if I care? I don't- I think the sperm might send her over the edge though- and I prefer not killing my mother with a heart attack. Fun times ahead, I can see it now: "Tennessee woman dies on daughter's birthday upon finding sperm tank, in closet. Woman's husband states, the last time a closet was involved it was a horrible finding- he plans on staying clear of them from now on. His clothes will go in a drawer."

The plot thickens, stay tuned it should be interesting.